Because of what I had done, he was yelling at me again. The Father's words were mingled, and he smelled strongly of the cheap, imported sake that he would drink whenever he felt bad about his wife, Midori. I knew that she had been the reason that he was drunk today, unlike his co-worker's suggestion to go to an Alcoholic's Meeting yesterday.

I knew that Midori had set him off, because the one sentence that I chose to listen to was 'She should have lived instead of you, you ungrateful little bitch.'

After taking another moment out of his life to smack me across the face and tell me to pick up the glass before I did anything else, The Father left the house, to go to work.

And for some reason beyond my comprehension, I still dutifully obeyed, picking up the pieces of reflective glass that had once been a mirror, taller than me. Not wanting anyone to know that the house still had someone inside, I didn't bother using the vacuum. I simply got down on my knees and picked up the larger pieces with my bare hands.

The Father constantly ranted that his Midori had been the only victim of that accident. But he and I both knew that it hadn't been true.

I had died that day as well.

There once was a girl named Noriyasu Tohma, who lived happily with her mother and father in a house in Hokkaido, right on the sea. She had bright blue eyes that shone like the sky, and her chocolate brown hair would hit her shoulders in just the right way, as she twirled around in the sand, leaving footprints as the skirt of her too-big white sundress flew around her.

But one day, that Tohma died.

And the smiling, happy, Tohma that had lived on the sea became this creature without a name who lived in a small, cramped house in the suburbs of Tokyo.

That was how my story went, according to Katsuko-sensei, who was always right because of the degree she had hanging on her wall. I saw Katsuko every other day after school. But I don't anymore. She didn't invite me after our last session, because I had told her that her story probably wasn't true.

She had told me that according to my file, I lived in Hokkaido with two parents, and after a car accident, I now only have one, and live in Tokyo. Katsuko also told me that my father had filled out the file himself.

That's how I knew it was a lie.


The glass cuts into my hands, making them bleed all over the carpet, but it's just blood. And it's just a carpet. I can always clean it and always bandage my hands up later, before I stumble into school late with another lame excuse.

I don't even know if I'm Tohma Noriyasu. I just use that name because that's what was on the file that The Father wrote out for the psychiatrist's benefit. I write it on my paper in school, because if I leave it blank, I don't get credit, and that's the name that's in the roster anyhow, the name that dosen't seem to fit anyone else in class.

He's never called me anything to clarify that I'm Tohma. He's always called me filthy names that make me wonder why he hates me so much. I don't even look like his Midori... or do I? Picking up a piece of the glass, I walk out into the room where her altar is, and look at her smiling picture.

She's happy and smiling, with beaming grey eyes and long, black hair. That's not me. I don't ever smile. And I'm not as pretty as his Midori was. I'm all grey and frazzled. Even she, who is apparently monochromatic, has more color than I do.

The light reflects off of the glass and shines onto a wall opposite me, spotlighting a picture that had always been there, yet never caught my eye. A picture of the person I was supposed to be. Tohma Noriyasu. The little girl in the white sundress by the sea.

"So, she did exist." I mutter to myself, wanting to reach up and touch the picture as if I could feel the fabric of her dress, but I stop. If I get blood on Tohma-san's picture, then The Father will know that I tried to touch the past, and that may be a sin worse than killing someone.

I don't plan on finding out.

It angers me to no end, to see the Noriyasu family so torn. Kaoru's a hopeless drunk. Midori is dead. And their Tohma is missing. Even after all of the grief this family has cost me, I still want to help them.

So I pick up the phone and dial the number for what I think is the police station. I don't know how I know it. I just did.

"Minagiite Police Station, Captain Tanaka."

I had been right.

"Captain Tanaka, I'd like to file a missing persons report."

"You sound incredibly calm. How long have they been missing?" I have to ponder. From the looks of the picture, it's four years old... so that's what I tell him.

"Four years."

"And you're just now filing a report? God, damn... well, what's the person's name?"

"Noriyasu Tohma." I reply to the gruff officer. I feel so comfortable talking to him. I forget about the glass in my hand and on the floor, and the stinging of it against my palm. "Noriyasu Tohma, eh? Alright, Miss. Now, I'll need your name."

The moment where I froze. Whenever I had been asked for my name, I would always give that one. Tohma-san's name. "I don't know my name." I replied, truthfully. "So, I'll just list you as Anonymous, then."

Anonymous. It had a nice ring to it. I think I'd keep it.

"Well, Anonymous-san, is there anything else I need to know? A description? A reason for filing the report after waiting four years?"

"Tohma Noriyasu previously lived in Hokkaido. She had shoulder length, chocolate brown hair and blue eyes, and was last seen in a white sun dress. And I waited because... I never knew that Tohma-san had been missing until now."

"I see. And... what relation do you have to her?"

"I don't know that, either. But... her father is sad. And he's driving himself to the point of death because he's so sad."

Tanaka had apparently stopped to think, or to write. "Anonymous-san, you seem like an interesting person. I'd like to meet up with you to talk more about this case... does noon at the Hanagi Park sound good to you?"

For a moment, I was quiet, and couldn't fathom why he'd want to see me. "Do you want me to bring a picture of Tohma-san?"

"Please."

"Then I will. Noon at the Hanagi Park. See you then." Hanging up the phone, I threw away the glass shard and hurried to pick up the rest, vacuuming the floor before bandaging my hands. I didn't care about the noise that it made, or how it would alert anyone to my existance.

For the first time in four years, Tohma Noriyasu would be found out.

-----------------

'Ah, Tohma-chan! It's your favorite song!' the woman turned up the radio to the tune of 'Ride on Shooting Star', the girl in the backseat swaying left and right, singing along with the upbeat tune that she adored. Her mother smiled, inwardly cursing the rain... it was marring her view of the road. 'You're buckled in, aren't you, Tohma-chan?' she double-checked with the girl, as thunder rumbled overhead. 'Hai, Okaa-san.'

Sitting patiently in the backseat, the swaying being her only movement, Tohma relaxed in the warmth of her nice, warm jacket. It was grey, like 'Kaa-san's eyes. And she loved 'Kaa-san's eyes, they were so pretty and unnatural...

The jacket was rather large, too. The sleeves nearly touched her calves, and would fit her for many years to come, that had apparently been the intent of purchasing it for her. Very soon, the radio station got very hard to tune in to, so the woman turned off the radio, and silence filled the Isuzu, a silence that made Tohma uneasy. "Okaa-san, are we nearby?" she asked, and her mother nodded. "Yes, I think we...."

A crunch of metal against metal and glass against glass, as well as a trio of loud screams, filled the small backroad.

From the other car, a young male driver, of no more than twenty, came out into the rain, running over to the driver-side door with only a small injury, as he called an emergency line. 'Kuso!' he cursed, checking for the woman's pulse. He fumbled for her identification as he gave it to the operator, before noticing Tohma in the back, eyes open just a bit, and crushed under the passenger-side seat. 'There's one more,' he said, frantically. 'A little girl... oh, hurry!' With that, he put his phone away, and forced open the door, pulling Tohma out from her trap.

'A pulse, thank god...' he sighed, cradling the shocked girl in his arms, sitting on the back of the Isuzu until the ambulance arrived. 'You said there were two, Tanaka-san?' the driver asked, and he nodded. 'Hai, but the driver is dead... the girl survived, though. She's awake, but not talking to me... she just looks right through me.'

Taking Tohma from Tanaka, the driver looked her over. 'No external injury, just shock... miss, what's your name?' he asked her, but she didn't say anything. 'Miss?'

---------------------

"Miss?"

I snapped to attention, blinking up at a tall man with brown hair and green eyes. Probably a Eurasian. "I'm Tanaka Satoshi... the man you spoke to on the phone? I trust you brought Tohma-san's picture..."

Slipping my bandaged hand into the front pocket of my large, grey sweatshirt, I handed the framed photograph from the house to him. "That's Tohma-san." I said, and he sat down beside me. "Noriyasu... I knew that the name was familiar." he snapped his fingers. "I was in a car accident, in which the driver of the car was killed, apparently she couldn't see what side of the road she was on... her ID said 'Noriyasu Midori'."

My eyes widened. "You killed Midori-san?"

Seeing my shocked expression must have made him wonder. "No, I didn't kill Midori-san. It was an accident. She couldn't see where she was going because of the rain."

"Tohma-san was in the car, too." I supplied. "Tohma-san was in the car, but she was missing afterwards. No one's been able to find her."

Satoshi-san looked at me for a while, before reaching out and touching the old sweatshirt. "This is Tohma-san's shirt. She wore it when we were taken to the hospital together, in the same ambulance." he sighed. "And you look... like the same Tohma-san I found. Scared and shocked."

"But Tohma-san is smiling. And I don't smile. I can't smile, there's nothing to smile about."

He folded his hands over his mouth to hide his own pleased grin. But I could see the corner of his eyes crinkle. "Midori Noriyasu intentionally took that trip on that rainy day, and intentionally drove on the wrong side of the road, with hopes of crashing and dying, and taking her daughter with her. Her husband was an abusive drunk. And the only way for her to take her daughter and flee without hopes of being drawn back in was to commit a murder suicide. Fortunately for her, it was only a suicide."

"It was a murder-suicide." Taking in the new information, I said that, at first unbelieving of it.

"How so?"

"Tohma-san died, too. The happy, smiling Tohma-san."

"And she was replaced with something less cheerful. I can understand why you would say that. After learning about Kaoru Noriyasu's tendencies... I offered to take Tohma into my home and care for her. But... I was only still the police academy, and I couldn't. So I worked hard to get to my rank... and I still want to find Tohma-san and save her, like Midori-san obviously wanted."

I looked up at him with my faded blue eyes, through the chocolate brown hair that fell over my face and down to the middle of my back. "If you knew where she was now... would you still offer that choice to Tohma?"

"Of course. Wouldn't you like to be rescued from what's probably a Hell on Earth?"

I felt tears come up to the corners of my eyes, and they soon blurred my vision. He knew! He knew how I felt to be trapped in The Father's grasp! He knew how much I wanted freedom, and was offering it to me! And most importantly, he knew who I was!

"I think... that I would."

"But I can't rescue you."

My head snapped up, the tears now freely streaming down my face. "Why? Why not?" I asked, in a pathetic whimper that I couldn't believe was my own.

"Because you said that Tohma-san smiled. And you're not smiling. So you can't possibly be Tohma-san."

So, I did. Curling up the corners of my mouth, I brushed the hair from my face and looked at Captain Satoshi with a bright smile that felt incredibly unreal, yet warmed me up inside.

"Now I can save you, Noriyasu Tohma. Are you still missing?"

I thought for a moment. "Parts of me are. But not all of me. I think that if I go with you though... we can find them together."

"Just one more thing."

I blinked up at him as he stood up, placing his cap on my head and taking my bandaged hand into his. "Next time, when you pick up the shards of your memories, don't cut yourself."